Non-Binary Lives: An Anthology of Intersecting Identities edited by Twist, Vincent, Barker, & Gupta

"What does it mean to be non-binary in the 21st Century? Our gender identity is impacted by our personal histories; the cultures, communities and countries we are born into; and the places we go and the people we meet. But the representation of contemporary non-binary identities has been limited, until now. Pushing the narrative around non-binary identities further than ever before, this powerful collection of essays represents the breadth of non-binary lives, across the boundaries of race, class, age, sexuality, faith and more.

Leading non-binary people share stories of their intersecting lives; how it feels to be non-binary and neurodiverse, the challenges of being a non-binary pregnant person, what it means to be non-binary within the Quaker community, the joy of reaching gender euphoria. This thought-provoking anthology shows that there is no right or wrong way to be non-binary."

I thought this book was a fantastic and very important read. I find it supremely important to read stories and listen to the perspectives of those different from and that challenge our own perceptions and views. And while I identify as queer, I am very much cis, and this book did just that. This book is a collection of essays from non-binary authors. In addition to telling their stories of being non-binary in a world that really likes it’s binaries, they also consider the intersectionality of race, faith, class, age, sexuality and more. I fully believe this book should find a home in every library. As the world expands its understanding of gender, it’s important to hear from those who identify as non-binary.

Important things I came away from this book with:

- As limited as the English language is, when we discuss gender and identity, it’s far more malleable and free of gender constraints than other languages. Authors whose first language was Spanish or German and others expressed how they felt excluded and unseen in such binary and gendered languages.

- Simply adding a third gender box to tick doesn’t always cover it. There needs to be more gender freedom across the board and we need to get rid of traditional ideas of what masculinity and femininity mean and how they present. Too many people feel that they do not present non-binary enough for onlookers. It is not anyone’s place but the individual to determine what qualifies as “enough”. Let humans wear, say, and play how they wish, and as long as it doesn’t harm others, it’s no one else’s business to say they are “enough” or not.

- No one is perfect, not even LGBTQ+ folks. A theme I was saddened to see repeated over and over was the backlash the authors received from the LGBTQ communities they had been a part of when they came out as non-binary or genderqueer. By expressing their true selves, a lot of them lost friends in the community.

Everyone should read this book. Hopefully, in doing so, we can gain a greater understanding and gentleness for one another as human beings just trying to live our lives as happily as possible.

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Genre: non-fiction, lgbtqia+, anthology, essays

Representation: non-binary

Content Warnings: